A Carnival Cruise ship made its way from North Miami Beach to the shores of Cuba on May 1, marking the first time an U.S. cruise line has docked in a Cuban port since the two countries started normalizing relations after a more than five-decade travel ban. While some have called this moment “historic,” we couldn’t help but call it “cringe-inducing.” Nothing screams “America Loves Cuba” more than sending a 700 sunburned and probably drunk cruise lovers to the streets of old Havana.

This got us thinking about what other shitty things America will probably start exporting to Cuba. We’re already sorry.

  • Kim Kardashian’s private jet
    Exports coming to Cuba
  • Alkaline Water
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • A Goodyear Blimp
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • Even More Racism
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • $9 Tumeric/Ginger/Triple Lemon Pressed Juices
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • An Interpretation of the Statue of Liberty Designed by Will.I.Am
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • HBO, but Only Vinyl and In Treatment
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • Soyrizo Tacos
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • Travis $cott
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • People Who Live in New York City Who Want to Talk About the English Premier League
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • Epcot Center (South)
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • Cuba Libres with High-Fructose Corn Syrup
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • Crack
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • The Fourth of July
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • Cubachella
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • CB2 Catalogs
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • RedTube
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • Dave & Buster’s
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • Jim Beam “Devil’s Cut” Bourbon and Advertisements Featuring Mila Kunis
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • HARPO Studios
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • The Met Gala
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  • The Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie School for Poor Children
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • Pimp My Ride Reboot Hosted by Pitbull
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • Brunch
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • The Arcade Fire
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • Home Decor Stores That Specialize in Recapturing Cuba’s Cold War Aesthetic
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • Scientology
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • OBEY Che Guevara Posters
    Exports coming soon to Cuba
  • Whole Foods 365
    cuba exports